The Runner's tale...

Oh Runner, running away.. from what do you run away?Doomsday you say?
or did you just have a really bad day?
As you stand looking ahead out of the doorway,
Seeing through life as you'd see a film of X-Ray...
Feel like being,a scavenger's prey...
You see paths all muddled, life in disarray...

You will find a way,someday,
So stand strong at one place- you must stay..
The future's still large, large as the skyway,
Moments worth singing to, to pop & reggae,
So come on runner, you must obey,
People can come back in line after being astray,
And no this ain't just any cliche,
You may fold hands, kneel down and pray,
Trust yourself- Everything's gonna be just OK.

Close the past, open & see what the future has to display,
There's always more light when you come out of the subway...
No matter where you stay,
From Bombay to the Viking's Norway,
Live life as if everyday's your birthday,
While the sun shines, do make hay,
Serve yourself lotsa Happiness,-In life, its on unlimited buffet...
And soon you'll turn into a happy gourmet,
You'll play your own song, like a liberated Deejay,
Just because you, dear Runner,didn't run away!

Travelling through Hell...

Confined in a coccoon, no light- its dark!
rubbing stones of flint, where is that spark?

Ohh, Fire burns, breaks off my shell,
Feels like being elevated to heaven from hell!

Green Earth, O Green Earth, Why aren't you green?
Last time you were so clean, so pristine!

I hope to wander all worlds, like a patriotic nomad...
Dulcorate the bitter water with the sweetness I add...

Every road I take, ever river I cross,
The path's my own- I'm my own boss...

Roads may end, time may forever cease...
But I'll always keep walking, that's my greatest peace...

Ossy goes to 'Heaven'!

We all know the fact that Osama Bin Laden (OBL) will no longer be taking part in any beauty pageant now. Not because he's dead, but the fact that his head having a hole in it will definately not go well with the pageant judges....

We also know the fact that OBL was one person who brainwashed his followers into believing that if they took part in the holy war and were martyred, they would be guaranteed the following upon their death:

- 1 Free Passage to Heaven, All Expenses Paid..!!
- 80,000 Servants to take care of you once you're at Heaven!
- 72 Virgins for.... (Well,definitely not for washing your clothes!)
- A Huge Palace filled with all The treasures in this world!

One would feel that the description of this place perfectly fits into one place on earth, a place whose previous inhabitant was also weird. This person had a voice which, like OBL's, was listened to by people all over the world. People 'died' to see him too.

That person was Michael Jackson, and the place- The Neverland Ranch.

But that's not why I write this piece (Obviously,since MJ died in 2009 and ain't particularly hot news now!

Now, coming back to what actually happened when OBL was shot...

Unknown to many, OBL was playing truth and dare with his wife. The empty bottle of 'Pakola' betrayed OBL and it was his turn to be either Truth'd or Dare (BTW,Pakola is a nationally branded soft drink in Pakistan.. OBL doesn't drink Pepsi or Coke.. This is his way of contributing to Pakistan's economy..apart from the usual money paid to the government for using their services)

OBL's wife : "I want you to tell me a truth... How many goats have been in your harem before?"

Since OBL wished to hide the fact that he cheated on his goats with the camels next door, and also the fact that he didn't want to explain it to his wife ("She just won't understand!"), OBL said "Gimme a Dare or I'll kill you!"

Left with no other option, Mrs. OBL dared OBL to wear the packet of bright yellow and pink Bindis on his forehead. And since no one was around at that time, he did it anyways.

And so, this is the story of how the US Army guys knew where to aim at!

So OBL was shot dead.. and no sooner he's dead, than he experiences an OOBE- An Out-of-Body-Experience!

Strangely, OBL is now high.. he's soaring well above the land.. He's watching his Camels and Goats below, feeling sad a losing them.

OBL is so high as never before..."Damn, this beats that Amsterdam Marijuana experience...Wooohooo!"..

He's high.. literally and even otherwise.

He now comes to a place in the clouds. Quite far from the ground below....

He sees what his eyes had always wanted to see.. He was at heaven, at last!...

A palace filled with lotsa servants (he counted 78,321) till he came to a courtyard filled with 70 Virgins... Apparently it seemed that even Heaven had its Tax Policies and Capital Gains taxes. "Must be due to the fact that all Accountants, Lawyers and politicians who died must've gone to hell.. Tch tch, must remember to get them onboard once I take over here..."

"Wow... Chicks, Palaces, Treasures.... woohoo, Its true- So Damn true!"

He met the caretaker at heaven and instanteously asked him for his palace keys..

The Housing Section Admin guy at Heaven gave him an exasperated look and said," Ossy, You bastard.. You trained hundreds and thousands of terrorists and told them what they were guaranteed for after dying... Thanks to you, This part of Heaven is now full! So either you take the next best best option and just FO from here before we let loose the dogs on you!"

What is the next best option?, he asks...

"Go to Hell....", and mutters incessantly about working overtime just because of OBL!

So OBL is now in Hell...

Moral of the story: If you believe in something, don't brainwash others into believing it. High chances are,that when time comes, it'll be hell for you later...

I hate Love!

I hate love, because it exists,
and there's always no Dettol to treat those cut open, slit wrists!

I hate love, coz it makes me so weak,
Look lifeless like those mimes, those who can't speak...

I hate love, coz it takes away all my sense,
The only thing I can think of, is Rajnikanth shouting "Naan-sense!"

I hate love, because I know, in it, I'll die,
choking me slowly, like a tight-wound school necktie....

 I hate love,coz of the illusion it brings,
I can't eat it, like real onion rings...

I hate love- I won't fall again, no encore;
But God just won't take it out of my life's brochure!

I hate love, coz I ain't its shepherd,
I'm like a lost sheep, lost after a severe blizzard...

Why then, do I still love?
Answers I have none, coz Love is indeed weird,
Funny at times, at times I feel it's feared,
Still burning myself- like a mouthful of clove...

Poem for the Season....

Summer's gonna start, no shade looks cool,

Tis a long way away, the season of Yule,

Wanna kick myself, Coz I feel like a mule,

When I went to swim inside the pool...

Got caught instead ,in a whirlpool,

...Thought Why Life is ever-so-cruel!

When both, my heart and mind, none could decide...none could rule;

Oh I felt like a fool- an April fool...

The Haunting...

A cool,Thursday afternoon... Returning home from a long, tiring day at work... What could go wrong?

Weekend approaches..

Plans set- catch up with friends, watch a few movies- among them!

Humming a nondescript tune,I felt something was amiss...

Skin pricked by invisible needles, the same feeling when you hear a creaky door on a nightmarish rainy night at a desolate house....

I sensed it. Like a viper springing out of the bushes, it made its eerie presence felt. But it didn't strike..

I could hear the chirp of the birds, warning me to watch my step.. They somehow, seemed to know it was following me.. "How could they tell?" I wondered...

Stalking me,it was, like a crouching tiger ready to snare its prey... waiting to take over me...

I tried to lose it, in vain... I just couldn't....

I was now cheerless, like the waning sun... The very thought of it made me unsettled... I had still so much to do, It couldn't be like this!

My head ached earlier.. but now it was as if someone was using my head as a darts board... then those darts turned into spears...

Pain, unbearable..

My mind, My heart, my legs, my eyes among others... all looked inward at me as if I betrayed them... "How could you do this to us? after we've served you all throughout "

True, they did... I didn't realize that it was me who caused this situation to unfold....

I guess, sometimes, you just have to lose some battles... because you just cannot fight phenomenon like this..

I let go... and suddenly, my throbbing veins of poisonous pain metamorphosised into a nectar-filled pathway of redemption...

I had lost against it, my world turning dark... my eyes, who were red with anger till now, said "It had to happen... let go"

Nacreous light took over... I didn't want to understand what I felt,

So beautiful, So calm! It seemed just so... right, so correct...

It finally got to me.... It didn't strike at me, but instead it seemed to put its arms around me like a long lost friend...

It took me away from this world and the reality that circled it,

Like an Out of body experience within the boundaries of the human soul,

It was 4: 30 hours post meridiem....

and I was now,
.
..
...
.....
.......
Asleep!

Baby Diaries- Volume 1

"Aaaah, So Comfy!"

Day 0:

"Here I am, lazing in this coccoon... This is heaven! I have my eyes closed, yet I see the world... "

"Is that you Angel?", said I... "I was told by the light in the heavens that I will meet you... You are Angel aren't you?"

The Angel nodded...

"You know, everytime I stretch my legs and kick them, I feel that someone's placing their ear there... I mean, Whoever it is out there, Do they like being kicked in their ears??"

"And I hear voices too... they say 'Oh, when u'll come, I'll make sure you gonna be a Doctor one day, Oh you gonna be an engineer!'... What are they?? and where am I going??"

"Sometimes, I feel that they are putting something in front of me through this wall here.. I have a feeling someone watches me sometimes... eerie I tell you... not even giving me my privacy!!!

"OK..Seems you won't answer much...,So as per the agreement, you have to save my skin everytime I fall into deep waters, provided of course, I keep a good behaviour prior to that, right?... hmmm, done!!"...

"Wait-a-minute!! Why am I being forced out now??? Heyyy!!! Heyyyy!!!! What gives??? Noooo.. Nooo.. I like it here... Ohhhhh nooooooooooo!!!!!!"

"Oh, Ouch, I'm being evicted!! Quit pushing... O gosh Am I stuck?? O push for God's sakes!!! Push!!! Push!!! Push!!!! DO SOMETHING, Coz I don't know my way back in!!!"

"Wooooooooo!!!! Geez, Why am I being stared at by these things? What's this icky red thing on me? What's this??"

And there I was, in confusion!-covered with blood and the umbilical cord still attached to me...I was crying... a lot... I didn't wanna leave that place... Yes, folks I was born! And so, probably you now know why babies cry after they're out!!

DAY 1:
"Activity?? Score 2... Active motion!

Pulse rate?? Around 100 BPM sir.. seems normal!

Reflex response ?Normal!

How's his colour??? He seems normal!!

How's his breathing??? Good sir!"

After hearing this, I fell into a verrrry deep sleep.. Gee I was tired.... I could see my angel say "whew!"

Day 2:

"Koochie Koo!!!"..'Awwww!!"...."Oh so Cute!"

These were the most often words heard as the day progressed... Well, Of course I'm cute... Babies are meant to be cute! That's their USP!

When people said, "He's just like his father/mother", I really wondered if they thought I should look like someone else... I mean, Genetically, I should have features like my mum or dad... What'd they want- me look like Elvis???

Many people came to 'see' me... as if I was some kind of an act...

My Mum was looking quite tired... Yet, she held me against her chest and lulled me to go to sleep... I DON'T WANNA SLEEP! 1st you disturb me in the cocoon where I'm nicely resting, and then evict me out.. and now you wanna make me do the same thing which I would have done back there anyways?? Hmmpff- Humans!!

But then, as she held me more in her arms, I wondered if there was anything more cozier than this.. I mean, the bed where they kept me was comfy enough, but this... Mmmmm, warm, cozy and nice...

I was breastfed today.. I mean I was fed on Day 0 too, but was too high to remember anything... Its when my Mum puts me to her chest area, and puts my mouth against a small projection coming outta it, and I have to draw something out from it... It's called Milk, and is supposed to be the most bestest food ever for me right now for sometime... at least that's what the nurse was saying... But hey, I like it!

I really wonder what my dad does in all this? I mean, my mom gave birth to me, she holds me most of the time, she feeds me... and what does he do? Just stand there and watch! No wonder God didn't give man the gift to be a mom... he'd waste it left, right and centre wondering WTF to do!!

I can't wait to be fed again!! What do I do!!! Mom... Mom... Geez she can't hear me...

"O look.. he's saying something...Goo Goo Gaa Gaa to you too, my boy... I know you wanna go from here and wanna start trekking with me ASAP... I know, I know!"

That was my Dad.. and I was so pissed off over him! Why.. coz I don't wanna trek now.. I want my Milk!!!

Geez Mom, Doesn't he get it?? O gosh... He doesn't... neither does Mum... I feel like crying... Noooo.... Waaaaahhaaa!!!

No sooner I started crying, than my Mum swung into action and started to feed me... Bless her... and now, I found out a way to call out to Mum when I need feeding-just CRY!

Quite some time later, I was so full, that I felt the need to get it out... Lazy that I was, I just let it come out... But then, the stink was un-freakin-believable! So I did what I did best- "Waaaaaah!!!"

Bless Mum... Its almost as if she had done her PhD in Baby Linguistics...


DAY 3:
The Doctor's performed some routine tests on me... This was my first exposure to an actual Test... Dad said "Son, You will be having many more such tests in life- not as easier as this.. but some where you have to take out all courage and...."

Waaaaaahhh!!!!

And I was saved! Bless you Mum!

It seems that I was ready to go home... Dad had bought his Car... Nice shiny silver car.. made me wanna pee in it, but decided against it...coz it seemed new..

And I couldn't pee out... 'coz apparently, they made me wear some sort of cotton- armored clothing which retains all fluid and semisolid elements, thereby not letting it affect the external environment.

Mum called them 'Diapers'...

Baby Diaries Volume 1- Over and Out!!!