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We all know the fact that Osama Bin Laden (OBL) will no longer be taking part in any beauty pageant now. Not because he's dead, but the fact that his head having a hole in it will definately not go well with the pageant judges....
We also know the fact that OBL was one person who brainwashed his followers into believing that if they took part in the holy war and were martyred, they would be guaranteed the following upon their death:
- 1 Free Passage to Heaven, All Expenses Paid..!!
- 80,000 Servants to take care of you once you're at Heaven!
- 72 Virgins for.... (Well,definitely not for washing your clothes!)
- A Huge Palace filled with all The treasures in this world!
One would feel that the description of this place perfectly fits into one place on earth, a place whose previous inhabitant was also weird. This person had a voice which, like OBL's, was listened to by people all over the world. People 'died' to see him too.
That person was Michael Jackson, and the place- The Neverland Ranch.
But that's not why I write this piece (Obviously,since MJ died in 2009 and ain't particularly hot news now!
Now, coming back to what actually happened when OBL was shot...
Unknown to many, OBL was playing truth and dare with his wife. The empty bottle of 'Pakola' betrayed OBL and it was his turn to be either Truth'd or Dare (BTW,Pakola is a nationally branded soft drink in Pakistan.. OBL doesn't drink Pepsi or Coke.. This is his way of contributing to Pakistan's economy..apart from the usual money paid to the government for using their services)
OBL's wife : "I want you to tell me a truth... How many goats have been in your harem before?"
Since OBL wished to hide the fact that he cheated on his goats with the camels next door, and also the fact that he didn't want to explain it to his wife ("She just won't understand!"), OBL said "Gimme a Dare or I'll kill you!"
Left with no other option, Mrs. OBL dared OBL to wear the packet of bright yellow and pink Bindis on his forehead. And since no one was around at that time, he did it anyways.
And so, this is the story of how the US Army guys knew where to aim at!
So OBL was shot dead.. and no sooner he's dead, than he experiences an OOBE- An Out-of-Body-Experience!
Strangely, OBL is now high.. he's soaring well above the land.. He's watching his Camels and Goats below, feeling sad a losing them.
OBL is so high as never before..."Damn, this beats that Amsterdam Marijuana experience...Wooohooo!"..
He's high.. literally and even otherwise.
He now comes to a place in the clouds. Quite far from the ground below....
He sees what his eyes had always wanted to see.. He was at heaven, at last!...
A palace filled with lotsa servants (he counted 78,321) till he came to a courtyard filled with 70 Virgins... Apparently it seemed that even Heaven had its Tax Policies and Capital Gains taxes. "Must be due to the fact that all Accountants, Lawyers and politicians who died must've gone to hell.. Tch tch, must remember to get them onboard once I take over here..."
"Wow... Chicks, Palaces, Treasures.... woohoo, Its true- So Damn true!"
He met the caretaker at heaven and instanteously asked him for his palace keys..
The Housing Section Admin guy at Heaven gave him an exasperated look and said," Ossy, You bastard.. You trained hundreds and thousands of terrorists and told them what they were guaranteed for after dying... Thanks to you, This part of Heaven is now full! So either you take the next best best option and just FO from here before we let loose the dogs on you!"
What is the next best option?, he asks...
"Go to Hell....", and mutters incessantly about working overtime just because of OBL!
So OBL is now in Hell...
Moral of the story: If you believe in something, don't brainwash others into believing it. High chances are,that when time comes, it'll be hell for you later...
We also know the fact that OBL was one person who brainwashed his followers into believing that if they took part in the holy war and were martyred, they would be guaranteed the following upon their death:
- 1 Free Passage to Heaven, All Expenses Paid..!!
- 80,000 Servants to take care of you once you're at Heaven!
- 72 Virgins for.... (Well,definitely not for washing your clothes!)
- A Huge Palace filled with all The treasures in this world!
One would feel that the description of this place perfectly fits into one place on earth, a place whose previous inhabitant was also weird. This person had a voice which, like OBL's, was listened to by people all over the world. People 'died' to see him too.
That person was Michael Jackson, and the place- The Neverland Ranch.
But that's not why I write this piece (Obviously,since MJ died in 2009 and ain't particularly hot news now!
Now, coming back to what actually happened when OBL was shot...
Unknown to many, OBL was playing truth and dare with his wife. The empty bottle of 'Pakola' betrayed OBL and it was his turn to be either Truth'd or Dare (BTW,Pakola is a nationally branded soft drink in Pakistan.. OBL doesn't drink Pepsi or Coke.. This is his way of contributing to Pakistan's economy..apart from the usual money paid to the government for using their services)
OBL's wife : "I want you to tell me a truth... How many goats have been in your harem before?"
Since OBL wished to hide the fact that he cheated on his goats with the camels next door, and also the fact that he didn't want to explain it to his wife ("She just won't understand!"), OBL said "Gimme a Dare or I'll kill you!"
Left with no other option, Mrs. OBL dared OBL to wear the packet of bright yellow and pink Bindis on his forehead. And since no one was around at that time, he did it anyways.
And so, this is the story of how the US Army guys knew where to aim at!
So OBL was shot dead.. and no sooner he's dead, than he experiences an OOBE- An Out-of-Body-Experience!
Strangely, OBL is now high.. he's soaring well above the land.. He's watching his Camels and Goats below, feeling sad a losing them.
OBL is so high as never before..."Damn, this beats that Amsterdam Marijuana experience...Wooohooo!"..
He's high.. literally and even otherwise.
He now comes to a place in the clouds. Quite far from the ground below....
He sees what his eyes had always wanted to see.. He was at heaven, at last!...
A palace filled with lotsa servants (he counted 78,321) till he came to a courtyard filled with 70 Virgins... Apparently it seemed that even Heaven had its Tax Policies and Capital Gains taxes. "Must be due to the fact that all Accountants, Lawyers and politicians who died must've gone to hell.. Tch tch, must remember to get them onboard once I take over here..."
"Wow... Chicks, Palaces, Treasures.... woohoo, Its true- So Damn true!"
He met the caretaker at heaven and instanteously asked him for his palace keys..
The Housing Section Admin guy at Heaven gave him an exasperated look and said," Ossy, You bastard.. You trained hundreds and thousands of terrorists and told them what they were guaranteed for after dying... Thanks to you, This part of Heaven is now full! So either you take the next best best option and just FO from here before we let loose the dogs on you!"
What is the next best option?, he asks...
"Go to Hell....", and mutters incessantly about working overtime just because of OBL!
So OBL is now in Hell...
Moral of the story: If you believe in something, don't brainwash others into believing it. High chances are,that when time comes, it'll be hell for you later...
