What is F1???

My friend, Nash, asked me, 'What is F1?' pointing out to the fact that the interest in F1 seems to be on the wane and we seem to be forgetting about it..

I would normally have given a reply which could be forgotten, like"It's a sport yaar..." etc etc...

But then, I asked myself again, " What is F1?"... and thus began a quest to define the sport in my own words...

Let's begin with its history...
Europe! That seems to be the place everything began... be it cricket or the Industrial revolution...Europe was the most 'happening place' in the olden era.

It seems that there were some guys who liked to drive, but were too scared that they wouldn't be liked to be called as a 'chauffeur' for the rest of their lives. Thus they

devised an ingenious plan, which assured them a high status in the higher snobbish European society. They planned to have a championship for racing.They sold it so beautifully to their society, thus giving roots for marketing in F1, something which Bernie Ecclestone( he will be explained later) silently thanks for in his prayers, before going to bed!

But what is the "Formula"???
Well, at that time, there were many games which had 'rules'. For racing, as it was gonna be sophisticated,they were finding another term for 'rules' instead of 'rules'. As the game of Cricket was invented long back, the inventors of cricket smartly decided to use the word 'Laws of cricket' instead of 'rules of cricket'. So, as they were at their wits' end to find a sophisticated term, there was some kid who asked," what's the formula for finding he volume of a cube??". No one knows whether the kid was answered back, 'coz all were jumping with excitement over discovering the term they wanted. The Kid was forgotten in the annals of history, and hence no one remembers him...Just like How no one remembers how Bhuvan defeated the English as per the movie Lagaan!

Anyways, excited over the discovery, The Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile (FIA, founded in 1904, but relevant since 1940s) mobilized everything they could get and standardized a set of rules, which till date are changed every year.

Over the years, Formula racing became a term that refers to various forms of open wheeled single seater motorsport, Formula One, indicates that it is intended to be the most advanced and most competitive of the FIA's racing formula.

Bernie Ecclestone, Who?
Bernie Ecclestone a.k.a 'F1 Supremo' is the president and CEO of Formula One Management and Formula One Administration. In short, he unoficially owns F1.

Controversy does surround him, but then which celebrity isn't a victim of controversy. His business aptitude made F1 into a billion dollar industry today! Many say that he lacks vision for the future... hmm, strange to say for a man who actually saw the future in the past!

So What is the sport?
A Formula One Grand Prix (pronounced as 'pree' and not 'pricks', you ignorant wannabes!) event spans a weekend, beginning with two free practice sessions on Friday (except in Monaco, where Friday practices are moved to Thursday), and one free practice on Saturday. This is to ensure that the drivers do not make fools of themselves on race day by not 'knowing' the car well.

Additional drivers (commonly known as third drivers, deemed good enough to be in the team but bad enough to actually race) are allowed to run on Fridays, but only two cars may be used per team, requiring a race driver to give up their seat. Thus the 3rd driver serves as a guinea pig; a fall guy, to ensure the best driver doesn't screw up on race day.

A Qualifying session is held after the last free practice session. This session determines the starting order for the race. The person who zigzags around the track in the fastest time possible will start the race in the front-called as the 'pole position'. The rules change every now and then. Just to ensure who starts at the beginning, teams waste all resources like fuel, time and money.

Can't they draw straws instead??

Well, no! 'Coz that is not what F1 racing is about..If it were, then no one would watch it!

Then D-Day comes on Sunday!
The race begins with a warm-up formation lap (its like when you were small and used to play cricket, you always asked for a trial ball when you came to bat...that way.)

After this, the cars assemble on the starting grid in the order they qualified. When seen from above, they are in a zigzag position... just like the bristles on a Colgate Zig-Zag toothbrush seen from the side.

They begin the race, they drive for the number of stipulated rounds around the track (each round is called a 'lap'). The person who manages to stay in front at the last lap of the race wins... Unless you are Mika Hakkinen who manages to lead an entire race, only to blow it up on the last lap and retire from the race (Spain 2001).

After the race, the top 3 finishers park their cars, head off to the podium and receive their trophies after the National anthems are played .They then spray Champagne on each other, and give whatever remains, to their pit crew, below the podium.

I haven't covered the entire set of rules and regulations as they are prone to changes every year. I recommend visiting http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formula_One_regulations for a better explanation and http://www.formula1.com to know more about the wonderful sport of Formula One Racing!

Well, in a nutshell, apart from being a Function key on the computer keyboard, F1 is also a sport wherein sophisticated speed junkies called 'drivers' mindlessly drive their specially built cars around a tarmac (called a racing track) at various locations throughout the world throughout the year, guzzling oodles of fuel contributing to global warming, losing lots of weight, having no loo breaks in between, in a bid to achieve world supremacy, just to find himself under great pressure to defend it the next year, something which the crowd derives great pleasure from.

Thanks to Wikipedia.com for references. Hope I don't get shunned by our F1 community in Mumbai and hope they don't put a fatwa on me, banning me from all future F1 events for this piece...And Nash, I know you still love F1, esp. Kimi...Cheers!