Baby Diaries- Volume 1

"Aaaah, So Comfy!"

Day 0:

"Here I am, lazing in this coccoon... This is heaven! I have my eyes closed, yet I see the world... "

"Is that you Angel?", said I... "I was told by the light in the heavens that I will meet you... You are Angel aren't you?"

The Angel nodded...

"You know, everytime I stretch my legs and kick them, I feel that someone's placing their ear there... I mean, Whoever it is out there, Do they like being kicked in their ears??"

"And I hear voices too... they say 'Oh, when u'll come, I'll make sure you gonna be a Doctor one day, Oh you gonna be an engineer!'... What are they?? and where am I going??"

"Sometimes, I feel that they are putting something in front of me through this wall here.. I have a feeling someone watches me sometimes... eerie I tell you... not even giving me my privacy!!!

"OK..Seems you won't answer much...,So as per the agreement, you have to save my skin everytime I fall into deep waters, provided of course, I keep a good behaviour prior to that, right?... hmmm, done!!"...

"Wait-a-minute!! Why am I being forced out now??? Heyyy!!! Heyyyy!!!! What gives??? Noooo.. Nooo.. I like it here... Ohhhhh nooooooooooo!!!!!!"

"Oh, Ouch, I'm being evicted!! Quit pushing... O gosh Am I stuck?? O push for God's sakes!!! Push!!! Push!!! Push!!!! DO SOMETHING, Coz I don't know my way back in!!!"

"Wooooooooo!!!! Geez, Why am I being stared at by these things? What's this icky red thing on me? What's this??"

And there I was, in confusion!-covered with blood and the umbilical cord still attached to me...I was crying... a lot... I didn't wanna leave that place... Yes, folks I was born! And so, probably you now know why babies cry after they're out!!

DAY 1:
"Activity?? Score 2... Active motion!

Pulse rate?? Around 100 BPM sir.. seems normal!

Reflex response ?Normal!

How's his colour??? He seems normal!!

How's his breathing??? Good sir!"

After hearing this, I fell into a verrrry deep sleep.. Gee I was tired.... I could see my angel say "whew!"

Day 2:

"Koochie Koo!!!"..'Awwww!!"...."Oh so Cute!"

These were the most often words heard as the day progressed... Well, Of course I'm cute... Babies are meant to be cute! That's their USP!

When people said, "He's just like his father/mother", I really wondered if they thought I should look like someone else... I mean, Genetically, I should have features like my mum or dad... What'd they want- me look like Elvis???

Many people came to 'see' me... as if I was some kind of an act...

My Mum was looking quite tired... Yet, she held me against her chest and lulled me to go to sleep... I DON'T WANNA SLEEP! 1st you disturb me in the cocoon where I'm nicely resting, and then evict me out.. and now you wanna make me do the same thing which I would have done back there anyways?? Hmmpff- Humans!!

But then, as she held me more in her arms, I wondered if there was anything more cozier than this.. I mean, the bed where they kept me was comfy enough, but this... Mmmmm, warm, cozy and nice...

I was breastfed today.. I mean I was fed on Day 0 too, but was too high to remember anything... Its when my Mum puts me to her chest area, and puts my mouth against a small projection coming outta it, and I have to draw something out from it... It's called Milk, and is supposed to be the most bestest food ever for me right now for sometime... at least that's what the nurse was saying... But hey, I like it!

I really wonder what my dad does in all this? I mean, my mom gave birth to me, she holds me most of the time, she feeds me... and what does he do? Just stand there and watch! No wonder God didn't give man the gift to be a mom... he'd waste it left, right and centre wondering WTF to do!!

I can't wait to be fed again!! What do I do!!! Mom... Mom... Geez she can't hear me...

"O look.. he's saying something...Goo Goo Gaa Gaa to you too, my boy... I know you wanna go from here and wanna start trekking with me ASAP... I know, I know!"

That was my Dad.. and I was so pissed off over him! Why.. coz I don't wanna trek now.. I want my Milk!!!

Geez Mom, Doesn't he get it?? O gosh... He doesn't... neither does Mum... I feel like crying... Noooo.... Waaaaahhaaa!!!

No sooner I started crying, than my Mum swung into action and started to feed me... Bless her... and now, I found out a way to call out to Mum when I need feeding-just CRY!

Quite some time later, I was so full, that I felt the need to get it out... Lazy that I was, I just let it come out... But then, the stink was un-freakin-believable! So I did what I did best- "Waaaaaah!!!"

Bless Mum... Its almost as if she had done her PhD in Baby Linguistics...


DAY 3:
The Doctor's performed some routine tests on me... This was my first exposure to an actual Test... Dad said "Son, You will be having many more such tests in life- not as easier as this.. but some where you have to take out all courage and...."

Waaaaaahhh!!!!

And I was saved! Bless you Mum!

It seems that I was ready to go home... Dad had bought his Car... Nice shiny silver car.. made me wanna pee in it, but decided against it...coz it seemed new..

And I couldn't pee out... 'coz apparently, they made me wear some sort of cotton- armored clothing which retains all fluid and semisolid elements, thereby not letting it affect the external environment.

Mum called them 'Diapers'...

Baby Diaries Volume 1- Over and Out!!!