The Kolkata Sojourn..

The Kolkata sojourn.
Kolkata,The City of Joy....and its name ain't derived coz thee are Joydeeps,Joywants,and other 'Joys',I,too dunno why its called so.But after having stayed there for some days,I have an inkling why.
One of my best friends,a dear family friend,got hitched last week.The wedding was at Kolkata,for which we were part of..the 'baraatis'..

Nov 18,2007-The day of my CAT Exam.As I write this,I still dunno whether I did well or not,coz I still don't have my answer key yet.Anyways,no sooner the exam got over than I rushed back home to prepare to leave for Kolkata.I would be accompanied by my friend Aditya[Admiral Naikovsky!lol!].
Our train journey would last for 2 nights..we would leave on the 18th at 20:35,to arrive in Kolkata in the morning on the 20th.Some may feel that if I write,"I had a great time while going." it would sound oh-so-clichéd...Bad news....I did have a great time!
Accompanied by an executive from Standard Chartered Bank in south Mumbai,a Government official headed towards Nagpur for the Winter session,and a Gujju/Marwadi family with their kid so mischievous that his mom had to put him on a leash!well,sorta...she tied his hand with a cotton rope,so that he wouldn't venture far.
Me,Adi and the Stan Chart guy were discussing so much about Maharashtra Politics and where all the Govt has screwed up,it made that officer red faced.He proceeded to his upper bunker only to get down at Nagpur.
en route it was pleasant to see the different shades of India.It was my 1stjourney outside Maharashtra and it was an experience I won't forget.I heard people speaking 'shuddh[pure] Hindi' when we stopped over at some station in Chattisgarh.People were different,yet similair....

We reached Howrah on the 20th of November,early morning around 6-6:15.Our pick up car bore our surnames and the "PRESS" sign behind...That felt cool actually!

The wedding took place on the 21st,and even before the wedding,the ceremonies that took place leading up to the wedding were interesting...The "Aye Buro Bhaat" i.e. the groom's last lunch with rice as a bachelor,the "Totto"[pronounced "tot-tow"] which were the gifts sent by the groom to the bride and also which the bride sent,The "Bor Jatri",i.e. leaving for the wedding..the 'Baaraat'....The "Bou Bhaat" wherin the bride would have to prepare rice/food for the groom...in our case,however,the bride had only to serve the rice.The "Phool Shojye" ritual wherein the couple's bed would be decorated...

The day of the wedding,21st,there was a curfew imposed in Kolkata due to the riots caused by the minorities protesting against Nandigram violence and Taslima Nasreen...The army was called in for the 1st time in 15 years.It was indeed sad.Thankfully,everything went well for us as planned...

Steering away from the wedding now,I do have to tell you all that Kolkata is THE place to eat!Eat just about anything and everything that they have to offer...Be it the Chicken Rolls for Rs 15,The "Puchkas"[Paani Puri with a bit of an extra filling],The "Doodh Cola",i.e. Cola and Milk mixed in a careful proportion[Freakin' Good.....10/10 for that] Rs 40 for a jug[can easily be shared among 7 people]....All of it Cheap and in good quantity!And last but never the least-The Mishti!!
The sweets are effing good!The 'Mishti Doi'[sweet curd],Gulab Jamuns,Rasagollas[even Chocolate Rasagollas!],Sandesh...Oh Gawsh!!My mouth waters as i type.....mmmmm!!!

We visited the New Market and the Old Market area...They are very nice places to shop..Its like our Mumbai's Crawford Market mixed with Grant Road...where u get stuff of all sorts...
From Sarees,Kurtas and shoes to show pieces,Gifts and accessories,Its a great place to shop.Bargain properly to get good deals...you will save a lotta money that way...

We visited the Kalighat temple area.That place is just like Mahalaxmi Temple area,but there seem to be more shops in Kalighat.Its a haven for women who need accessories and house wear...Night Gowns for women start from around 50 Rs upto 100 Rs...The same ones u get in Mumbai for Rs 120+.

The Traffic!!!Its hideous!!!Compared to Kolkata,I'd say Mumbai has the best traffic!![well,that shows how bad it really is!!] I saw signs that read "Follow traffic Rules"...I thought "What rules???"Lane cutting,overtaking,rash driving...its normal here...
The cops would rather be at peace with themselves rather than chase a person who drove past by them in a rash manner.If You can drive in Kolkata well,you can drive in any damn place on earth!!...The buses are equally bad...they look like the Maharashtra State Transport buses,rickety of sorts...and at one moment of time,I actually wanted to hug one of our BEST buses.

What's Kolkata without the trams,the metro and the Ambasaddor!The trams,which quite a few ppl do take,is the slowest means of public transport.The Metro trains ain't much special coz like Mumbai its crowded...but I must acknowledge the fact that the Metro stations look jazzy and nice...Then the Ambassador...what the Fiat is to Mumbai,the Amby is to Kolkata..spacious,huge and royal,u definately feel comfortable in one...weighs around 1400 kgs...flipside?well,It ain't gonna earn Kolkata any Carbon trading points for stopping pollution!The amount of pollution it contributes to the environment,Its god to know that there are many trees and greenery still prevailing in parts of Kolkata!

Taxis are expensive...Rs 20 for 1.6 Kms-Basic Fare...the electronic meter looks complicated,but u get it after a few rounds...

The Building structures at Kolkata are evocative of the British style of Architecture.It s great to see such architecture in Urban area,not unlike the ugly modern stuctures which comply the urban concrete jungle.

PS:For those who were a part of the ceremony and 'other things'[snigger!!]...
What do you call a man who,
1.Had a voice so weird because of a sore throat,that people actually thought they were going deaf?
2.Instead of having breakfast with us,goes in the neighbouring group and gatecrashes their breakfast gathering?
3.cracks inane jokes only to laugh at them himself?
4.Gets his room door knocked at 3'o Clock at night 5-6 times?
5.Gets convinced that there was a murder down the street and the killer is on prowl,killing those who open their doors?
6.During the marriage reception function,he visits the groom and bride only once,has a 45 minute dinner,and then goes to sleep in his room...that too,when the function is just halfway through?
7.And then,just for kicks,he gets called down to bestow blessings upon the couple,when actually its not even required?
8.His eyes give that weird expression when he talks?
9.Wears a Green Shirt,White Pyjama,Red socks,and leather shoes to go to sleep?
10.Asks fellow passengers how the food was and laughs?
???

Lord Thousand Calculus....

Cheers!

God!!!!!

God!!

What was he trying to do?Are we the result of some experiment where he went,"OOOPS!"?

If we pray to God for things,isn't it that he's holding us ransom?

Did God know Eve would eat the apple...If he did,where has he at that time?

If there is one creator,Why are there different Gods for different religions?

Who came 1st-God or Satan?If Satan came 1st,could he have tried God in the court for trespassing on his property?If God came 1st,What the hell was he doing letting Satan in?Couldn't he say,"Sorry Sats,Article 370 says u can't come in and settle on earth!!"?

When God says "O God",Who helps him?
If God wanted evil on earth,did he have a hidden agenda?If it failed,what must he be thinking now..."OOOPS,I think I screwed up a bit!"??

Why did he make the sky blue and clouds white? why not the reverse? was he partial to blue?

Why in blazes did he create the fly i.e.. the insect??apart from being a nuisance,it knows its gonna be killed one day...

Who invented the word "God"? Did someone do a "Dog" backwards?What if God was called "The supernatural being conceived as the perfect and omnipotent and omniscient originator and ruler of the universe; the object of worship in monotheistic religions" everytime instead??

Did God ask anyone,"Hi Mann,what's new?"And if someone answered ,"nm...nothin much,mann..what say you?"He replies"Oh nm here too..just creating some people,worlds and stuff..u know...same ol'same old"

If God knew that one day Science will prove that he didn't make everything,why did he make people smart enough to know that? Was he trying to say,"Ok,let's have a backdoor exit in case things go wrong...I think I'll create ppl known as 'scientists' 'rationalists'and 'athiests' who are gonna say I don't exist..That'd make my job a whole lotta easier!!"

What must he be thinking right now?

Was God bad at Geometry?Coz the earth ain't round...its an oblong sphere...

Did he push some wrong buttons during the Ice Age?Has he pushed some wrong button this time too,now that we are experiencing Global Warming?

God has the solution to everything,it is said....what about the solution for-

1.understanding women?

2.Understanding what the US is upto?

3.knowing what is one thing wrong today? etc etc...

Now to answer all these questions above,Just think that u are God..and then answer...

We are sure God exists,but we aren't sure Santa Claus exists...

We are sure God exists but the Lochness monster?Naah!!

We are sure God exists,but a Maharashtrian without a Crab mentality...Naah!!

We are sure God exists,but a Jihadi who absolutely loves the USA and its culture...Naah!!

We are sure God exists,but a Sardar winning the World Chess Championship...Naah!

We are sure God exists,but following his ideas...naah!!

We know,through our scriptures,what God thinks about everyone,through we still can't figure out what's stopping Mr Karat from accepting the Nuke Deal?
People have found God in their hearts after looong soul searching....Maybe Bush needs the same to find Osama??

The solution lies in the problem itself....
The Individual!
know yourself better before understanding the works of God...
cheers!