Where?

I started thinking...
Much to the dismay of my mind...
Here we go again,it said...
I wandered down the lonely road...
in the company of a million stars..
each one brighter,
but none dimmer...
the world felt fab...
I was high...
my drug was the beautiful night...
calm and serene...
Then...
someone screamed blue murder...
what was quiet was now chaos...
Felt I was back to Bedlam...
I was like a noisy mime....
Was there some parallel connection
of things i've never seen?
I was feeling ambivalent...
but how could I feel 'ambivalent'?
then I knew,
I was somewhere else,
somewhere other than here...
I saw below and I could see...
Powdered water...
Then...The silent noise grew louder...
it deafened me....yet I could hear
Screaming with utmost calmness,
I stopped it...
What happened to paradise I asked?
where was I now?????????????
Somewhat destroyed i felt....
I joined myself together...
trudging on through the beautiful road...
I realised...
no matter how aesthetic the road....
if u are almost dead,
It won't seem right
but somehow...
It seemed beautiful...
which told me
I won't die yet!
I ran,
I slogged,
I walked...
I came to the point...
where neither death nor life
could conquer me...
nor would I conquer them..
I had a choice...
Two paths....
dunno where they led...
I chose one....
I came out...
and I saw....


nothing!

Why?

When I lie down
I sleep awake...
I see the black light
shining with all its gloom
I run along the path of eternity
but keep getting lost..
Some call me dead
some call me alive
I am neither...
What is it with this world?
why do they do this to me?
they know i am being shattered
stabbing me thru my heart....
one layer at a time....
killing me with the utmost softness
killing me without sin
O'the sorrow
of being taken away
My soul,my soul
shred apart
with all the hate
yet I laugh...
a fanatic laugh
but no...
I still show sadness
yet I laugh?
Limitless boundaries
I soar across...
I find no one...
yet I find someone...
Something ,I see behind,...
Now it goes..
only to come back...
I see the light
Laughing with the misery of wretchedness...
come on,come in
says it,
I go in...
I see it...
It is beautiful,
yet repulsive...
I wanted to touch it....
I wanted to feel it....
I couldn't;
coz it was not there....
I walked down the path
It was a beautiful orange path
i saw behind...
It was now red
I saw to my left...
it was white
I saw nowhere..
and it was black...
music played...
It seemed Mozart...
but then,
I saw myself playing it
when the hell did i play the piano?
i looked again
I saw no one...
Music still on....
I thought there was Mozart...
I wanted an autograph...
But closer I came,
I saw it...
It was pretty now...
Yet ugly....
I turned around 365 degrees...
i dunno where the 5 degrees came from....
but then again,
I dunno where i was...
I thought I see God
but then,i feel psychedelic....
Psycho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what's u saying to me?
I fall into a crevice
how did I fall?
I don't know...
I feel like i am ascending upwards
but at the same time...
I feel i am going down!!
I reach up somewhere
I wake up
but It felt real...
I then realised
I was sleeping Awake!
It all ends soon
but we want more
we want less,yet we want more
but in the end...
It'll all end...
Nothing remains...
yet,we have everything....
I dunno if it made sense to any one who's read this
I don't want it to...
coz this is what I felt...
The night I was
Sleeping Awake...